Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Falling Puppet. Rising Fear.

Such a mournful straightjacket I have been stitched into. Mentally impaired by the straps that locked my arms in place. Physically altered by the countless imperfections that are sprouting by the dozens upon my decrepit flesh.

Like heinous goosebumps they protrude like weeds. Ripping through my flesh like the decadent drug injected through the tip of a needle.

Speaking to Marionette is the equivalent of making out with a mouthful of razors.

Strangely contradictory to what most sane people would take from this statement, I find the thought spine tingling in the most exciting of ways.

Marionette doesn't know how much I need his company right now.

Long do I fear the moment I stumble upon Ragdoll of the Slender Man once more.

Long do I fear that moment I figure out just what 'Dummy was Here' means.

I can feel in crawling just under my skin. 

Something happened to me, something violent. And I am slowly finding myself unconsciously finding joy in the pain and repentant suffering of all those around me.

My eyes stare into the fleshy sockets where His should be. My mind begging for a reason. Any sort of possible explanation as to why he finds so much interest in ripping my psyche apart piece by fucking piece.

I find myself wishing I just gouge my eyes out so I no longer have to see Him stalking me.

To feel that ounce of relief.

To be free.

I've been given multiple hands. I've been given many promises of shoulders to lean on. And by god do I want to believe that I can take those hands wholeheartedly. To lastly rest my head and know I wouldn't be judged if I just break down right there.

But I don't know how.

Whatever happened when the Slender Man first got a hold of me... He gave me a mask to wear. A mask of strength. To throw all fear aside no matter what stands before me and fight.

I want to wear it to the point that it's no longer a mask.

I want to destroy the walls of fear that have been constructed within my fragmented mind.

To free myself from it's hold and stand forth before the rising storm. And withstand anything He or anything else wishes to deal me.

To be the effigy of exactly they all should fear.

Beginning now. I am jumping headfirst into Hell. I'm completely enveloping myself in the darkness that already threatens to consume me.

No longer am I to be a Puppet whose strings are controlled by all who I fear.

I am going to become a fighter. Never shall I hide again. Never shall let Him rape my mind again.

I am becoming fear itself.

I am 


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