Sunday, July 31, 2011

Noticings.

"I see you out there... in the dark... Watching... Waiting..."
The last few minutes of the month are near...
"You're allure is mesmerizing... I want to feel your touch..."
I fear for what comes next...
"The ball has been shoved, it has started to move, something nefarious looms upon the horizon..."
I see oblivion up ahead. As He hovers around the outskirts of my eyes. My mind is already on the verge of tatters. I feel her... Playing in the back of my mind...
"Count the minutes. I'm about to fuck you up love..."
Shadows are falling. Physical and mental. Is the Slender Man real?
"You're about to find out..."

Degradation.

Warm breath slowly fogs up the cold, chilling glass window, silent whispers echoing out from between my cracking lips...


"Where has the light gone? Devoured by dark. I can't see. I need to see. I am blind..."


Stolen away from my eyes. The lamp posts on the old decrepit street outside my dark and lonely house had all but gone quiet. The gentle hum of the brightly lit lightbulbs no longer casting it's revealing glow across the paved and cracked streets below.


"I see nothing. Naught but shadow. The darkness is wrapping it's vicious tendrils around my ankles and wrists. Dragging me into the terrible abyss of oblivion..."


My eyes slowly widen as the pupils slowly get used to the lack of light. Everything was cast in different shades of black. I was staring at the fogged up window, taking a single finger and carefully drawing a single circle,


"Something moves outside..."


And I strike an X through it. Then I catch a glimpse of someone standing outside my window. My eyes widen even more. My breath refuses to escape my lungs. I thrust my hand out into the darkness, reaching for the switch that to the lamp on the sidetable beside me.


"I see. I see. I see. Slender Man."


I flip the switch and light explodes from the behind the lampshade, lighting up my face, and sending a wave of white straight out the window. Lighting up the faceless head staring back at me bare inches from the window.


"Slender. Man. Slender. Man. Slender. Man."


Only slight indentations gave any character to the fleshy sack of a face I see outside the window. I hear a sound escape my throat. Not mine. Something primal. Is this the sound of madness?


"I blink my eyes and thus he's gone, I'm falling back away from the glass pane that separated us from each."


My eyes are wide. The hairs upon my arms and neck standing on end. I couldn't see him. But I could feel him near. Terrified. I jump to my feet, escape the only thought on the forefront of my mind. I feel my feet below me thrust me forward with each step, my eyes set on the front door.


"But he was there..."


Slightly bent over so His head wouldn't bump the ceiling. The tall, slender, thing was bare feet from me. I was frozen in fear. I then see his multiple arms reach out to grab me.


"And then you woke up..."


As the door to my room slowly closed......

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Split.

"Silence is golden..."

I swear to god that every second that passes when one holds their breath, waiting to hear something that most likely was just a backfiring car or fireworks, The anticipation will literally spike to infinite levels.

An explosion so jarring, like a car slamming into the side of a concrete slab. The collision shocking every nerve ending within your very body. Leaving you shaking, adrenaline pumping through your body at dramatic levels.

"A euphoria so intoxicating..."

I'm unsettled. Scared for lack of a better word. That the very machinations within my mind are working against me. That the hopes to find that dark, twisted inspiration so to fuel my writings...

I'm worried that I may have gone too far...

"A realization that maybe going passed the haven of safety and into the demented, nightmarish yonder. Perhaps you're finally realizing how real I have become..."

But what is truly terrifying me. Is the fact that my hopeful dreams and beliefs... are somehow manifesting into living, breathing terrors.

Because I am seeing things.

"Such horrible things..."

That can't be real. That shouldn't exist. That have somehow jumped from the threshold of ghost story. And into a corporeal body. 

How do I deal with the nightmares of my life.... When my own psyche is fighting against me?

Shivers.

The haunting sounds of The Bunny The Bear were echoing in my ears.
The headphones on my head caressing my ears quite snugly.
Slightly nodding off, reading through yet another blog about yet another poor victim of a certain ‘Slender Man’.
Then without warning, my music transformed from croons and subtle guitars to an explosion of distortion and static. So loud and sudden that with a gasp I rip the headphones from my head.
And as I hold them within my hands, I could hear the distortion growing louder and louder…
Until a loud slam ignites from the closed door mere feet away.
My heart stops. My lungs refuse to let me breathe. Every hair on my neck and arms were standing on end.
But after a long moment I realized that my headphones were playing music again. The static gone.
I’ve since put them away. Too afraid to listen to music again.
I haven’t gotten up to check the door.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Day Lost.

"I know something that you don't..."
I don’t know why and I don’t know how. But I lost a day.
Beginning approximately around 6:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.
I was lost to the world.
I don’t remember what I did or why it happened.
All I remember is having the best sleep I’ve had in a long while.
It kind of unnerves  me that something like this would happen. Especially now…
Am I unconsciously letting myself do this to myself?
"Oh you don't know the half of it..."
Or is there something else at work. Something that shouldn’t…. couldn’t… exist…
Either way I’m up for the night. And my sleeping schedule is fucked for the next few days.
"And now it's time to play..."

Ravens and Crows.

"Once you've fallen deep into the dismal abyss of your unconscious mind, and into those decrepit nightmares that you so crave to be embraced by once more.


I see him.


When you let the darkness swallow you whole and bask you in the horrors of your inspirational dreams. When you let your eyelids shut like the curtains after that final act, and you let yourself drift away into sleep.


I feel him.


When you let go, I take over. You're other half. You're doppelganger. The Vergil to your Dante. The Hyde to your Jekyll. The Lenore to your Poe. Without me you're nothing.


He knows this.


I smile at the thought of you reading this. Thinking you had me under control. But when is inspiration ever within one's control? When it contrastingly enough controls them.


Imagine this Slender Man is an idea. And you're impeccably inspired mind brought him to life.


So my darling, with my thoughts, this places you under his control.


Quite the quandary we have here love.


I can see him now...


And the Raven, never flitting, 
still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas 
just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming 
of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming 
throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow 
that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted 




nevermore...."

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Silence.

"Shhhhhhh.... it's getting quieter..."


I'm starting to feel the silence grow thicker every night. At first a sheet, then a mist, and now a thick blanket of near impenetrable silence permeates outside every night.


"Til even a shout sounds like a bare whisper..."


It's so hard to hear anything. Like I'm deep within an underwater abyss. Slowly drowning in the silence.


"Even I'M being drowned out for god's sake..."


I've gone to listening to music with earphones on full blast so to keep the near palpable silence at bay.


"At least it gives me something else to listen to besides your constant griping..."


Shut it.


"As you wish..."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dreams.

I had a set of two very twisted and demented nightmares the other day. Both were focused around trees and screaming children. As well as the overwhelming urge of being chased by something.

"By god were those screams beautiful, the way they echoed in the trees..."

Considering what I have been so obsessed with the last two weeks though, I was quick to put the nightmares to rest. 

"A hasty decision?"

Blaming it on lack of sleep, too many late nights plastered to my computer screen watching videos related to a certain 'Slender Man'.

"As well as the consumption of way too much chocolate..."

What slightly unsettles me is what my girlfriend has told me, that during those nightmares I literally freaked the fuck out and refused to wake up no matter how much she struggled to wake me.

"Sweet dreams are made of these..."

It was like I couldn't wake up. As though I wasn't allowed. Like something didn't want me to leave...

"Perhaps a certain faceless individual?"

So I have come to the conclusion that my paranoia concerning the frightening urban legend of the 'Slender Man' is starting to spill out into my dreams.

"I myself am thinking of a more sinister theory..."

Doesn't mean I'm going to stop digging though. I'm just getting paranoid.

"Ha. Not like it's REAL or anything right?"

Exactly. It was just a bad dream.

"haha sure....."

Monday, July 25, 2011

Off Topic.

"Does he have a warm touch?"


I beg to be heard over this thick blanket of silence.


"When even a whisper is louder than a scream..."


I read the constant chatter that grows and grows over the course of seconds. So many lies, so few truths, and the unlimited supply of gullible minds that flock to the most literately gifted.


"Like blessed sheep to the slaughter..."


What about the few that actually have seen that haunting entity out of the very corner of their eye? That brief second when you see that dark suited nightmare's faceless smile as he watches you. Striking that first pinprick of fear into your heart. What happens to them?


"A cookie cutter existence of running and dying..."


A fear of the dark? A fear of the light? Or a fear of just being alone? A fear of looking over your shoulder? A fear of moving shadows? 


"Is there a legitimate term for fearing the slenderman?"


Like Slenderphobia or something?


"Yes exactly like that..."


Hmm... seems like a legitimate fear seeing as how popular the urban legend is.


"The closest I can get is gigaphobia, or fear of tall people..."


Well aren't you the informed one.


"Just another one of our many traits..."

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Existence.

"We all need a bit of humanity to help us feel alive,


Without it we tend to find the communication between one another to be lacking that.... 'human' touch.


Considering where this world is heading, It's becoming more of a struggle for the nightmares of the past to survive.


The little beasties and night terrors of yesteryear are naught but repetitive movie plots and campfire stories anymore.


Or even worse, stripped of what makes us fear them and thus made into travesties of hollywood romance.


Where have the things that go bump in the night gone? What happened to boogeyman that awaits under the bed? The scary man that lives in the closet?


Gone are they from our memories.


Replaced with the threats that our elected masters have pushed upon us.


The cookie cutter terrorists, blasted infidels, The goddamn flu.


Where has the unnatural gone? Those supernatural threats that haunt our nights and threaten our sanity?


Gone. Beaten back into the darkest recesses of oblivion by today's sciences.


Forever eclipsed behind the veil of lies that 'truth' brings on it's wings.


They say the future is bright. Bright enough to dispel the nightmares that darkness breeds?


I think not.


As long as 'humanity' exists. So will deceit, evil, imagination.


For as long as people exist, So does our belief in the monsters that plague our dreams.


And as long as we, as prey, exist. 


So does he..."

BELIEVE.

"I saw a man in black today, he was so tall and slim..."
If you were believe in something. Does that make it true?
"He stood so still, just out of sight..."
When you believe in say, an urban legend? a common superstition? Even a statement from an elected official?
"I could feel his gaze though he had no eyes..."
Does believing make it more fact than fiction?
"I felt something inside me skip a beat..."
Someone says something about a particular topic they truly believe in. Something they must tell others, hoping to ‘enlighten’ us to what they think. To make us believe.
"I swear it might have been that 'heart' thing everyone keeps talking about..."
People say we only ever use a small portion of our brains. That our minds are so complex, so powerful, that should we take something. And BELIEVE in it to the point of obsession. Our mind will make it a reality. No matter how unrealistic it could possibly be.
"He had me locked in place. Like a deadbolt to my nerves..."
It will pervert everyday life, our beliefs, twist and contort the very reality we exist in. To the point that anything is true.
"I knew I was going to die..."
And from our collective beliefs. HE is born.
"And I became ecstatic..."

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Storytime.

"When the nighttime jitters and the haunting critters seem to come out for a fright.


The shadows a quiver and the tall man a lingers and a new meaning comes to the night..."


A sea of darkness, endless, lost within itself. Only light seems to penetrate the thickening veil that threatens the paranoid and the weak.


"Shadows find a sick joy in housing the very nightmares you never want to meet in the daytime..."


Things that tend to go bump in the night are always welcome in the dark.


"Cause god never gave us the ability to fend of the devil's wicked vices..."


You see there is only one time, one chance, that our nightmares are given the power to give chase after us into the light.


"And that's when you give it the power, to chase you in the night..."


Because once you believe in the very beast that inspires your fears.


"Only then does the shadows of your mind give HIM corporeal form..."


And then you ask? What happens once the very demon you've feared for so long jumps off the forefront of your mind and into this reality? Haha well my love.


"You're fucked..."

Friday, July 22, 2011

Introductions and Remembrance.

I am an aspiring poet. And with that being said I am not the everyday aspiring poet.
I revel in horror.
"I revel in madness."
From the memories of personal loss and tormentful nightmares of years long past. I found that instead of bottling up the terror and blocking out what it is that haunts me. I recreate it into a slew of words and rythmns. Using the inspirations of Edgar Allan Poe, Tim Burton, and Jhonen Vasquez to help me develop a haunting style that dwells upon the topics of death, suicide, and blood.
And yet to further my own unique style. I exact each debauchery of artistic nature in the name of eight different ‘minds’.
A facade. Of a madman. Each ‘mind’ is a certain emotion that I control. Happiness, anger, despair, cockiness… I hope that within the course of this blog that I can show you the many faces that adorn me. And the emotions and madness they continually inspire upon my writings and personal life.
Be this part blog, part personal diary, and part testimony of my perpetual insanity.
I hope to push passed the boundaries of hopeful psychotics, and into the realm of absolute chaos.
And with it drop the facade and become what I’ve always dreamed of being.
Insane.

First Step.

So this isn’t my first blog. Nor shall it be my last.
I have no idea how long this blog will last though.
I tend to suffer from random bouts of boredom and the things that I find intriguing now, usually are left behind in the stead of much bigger endeavors.
But I think I found something that will keep me occupied for a long time to come.
Something….. A nightmare? I came across a few years ago, recently came back into the spotlight a few nights back.
Back then I wasn’t very computer savvy, so after a few unanswered questions and horrific nightmares i finally managed to lock away the memory and move on.
Now… It came back.
This time. I am ready.